12.16.2011
Malakai's 4-Year Portraits
Tomorrow at this time, I will be the mother of a four-year old. Wow! That feels big. He is big. He's growing up right before our very eyes. Literally. We just got out his growth chart and since June, he has grown almost 3 inches. Seriously! What a gift we have been given. Malakai, you are amazing in every way possible. Your life was planned by Abba Father way before anyone even knew about you. Your name means "My Messenger" and you have a message to share with the world, no doubt. We bless your spirit to soar. You carry love and gentleness to those around you. Many times people have shared with me how you have shown them and their children kindness and love without even trying. It's just who you are. To the core. After we finished this portrait session, he looked at me with a completely sincere heart and said, "Thank you for taking my pictures, Mommy!" My eyes filled up with tears. I didn't force him to say it or even require that he enjoyed it, but he loved every minute of it. And maybe the promised "let's go to the park afterwards...just you and Mommy" may have helped, but still....
Malakai Growing Up
Almost 4 years ago (tomorrow is the actual day), a 5 lb. 2 oz. perfect little baby boy was born in Philadelphia. We didn't meet him until 8 weeks later, but we knew about him in our spirits. Malakai is the first of two miracle sons the LORD has given to Eric and I. I still remember the first time I held him in my arms. Weeping and making a mess as I looked into the eyes of my beloved son, whom I had longed for for many years. My empty arms were finally full. His deep chocolate skin melted my heart and in an instant I was in love. I looked back through some of my favorite images from his photo sessions over the past four years of his life and tears came to my eyes. He honestly has always loved the camera and I don't have to do much coaxing. He is growing into a handsome young man and we are honored to be his parents.
12.14.2011
LIFE...All Caps
The funeral was on Monday. It was hardly just a typical one. An entire day long celebration of the lives of three incredible people: Jordan. Joelyn. Kyle. I've never experienced anything like it. We worshipped for hours with 2000+ people, in person and who knows how many were watching online. Laughing, crying, hands stretched towards heaven, embracing and processing together all that has happened and all that has yet to happen.
I've been told a time or two, that I have the gift of writing. Last night I told Eric that I feel like there is so much I want to write, but maybe I should just do that for myself and not make it available for the whole world to see. I quickly (and gently) was rebuked. That's the whole point of this. Till all have heard! At his 16th birthday party this past spring, Jordan said to his Grandpa, "I'm going to change the world in one day!" WHOAH! He just felt it deep inside of him. A song was played during the slideshow at the funeral and I can't get the words out of my head:
I'm a warrior...I would die for you
The family told us that the twins, Kyle and Jordan woke up to that song each morning. I was telling Malakai about this. All day long yesterday, repeatedly, he would come up to me and say, "Mommy, I'm a warrior!" That's my boy!
A good friend of ours, watched our boys on Monday and gave us a devotional book. I was reading it before I went to bed after the funeral. The LORD spoke directly to my heart:
I am taking care of you. Feel the warmth and security of being enveloped in My loving Presence. Every detail of your life is under My control. Moreover, everything fits into a pattern for good, to those who love Me and are called according to My design and purpose.
Because the world is in an abnormal, fallen condition, people tend to think that chance governs the universe. Events may seem to occur randomly, with little or no meaning. People who view the world this way have overlooked one basic fact: the limitation of human understanding. What you know of the world you inhabit is only the tip of the iceberg. Submerged beneath the surface of the visible world are mysteries too vast for you to comprehend. If you could only see how close I am to you and how constantly I work on your behalf, you would never again doubt that I am wonderfully caring for you. This is why you must live by faith, not by sight; trusting in my mysterious, majestic Presence.
Job answered God: I'm convinced. You can do anything and everything; Nothing and no one can upset your plans. You asked, 'Who is this muddying the water, ignorantly confusing the issue, second-guessing my purposes?' I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me, made small talk about wonders way over my head. You told me, 'Listen and let me do the talking. Let me ask the questions. You give the answers.' I admit I once lived by rumors of you; now I have it all firsthand-from my own eyes and ears!" Job 42:1-5 (The Message)
If you have ever been to our house, you'll see a painting on the wall of Eric and I overlooking the Susquehanna River sitting on top of Chiques Rock. My parents snapped the picture and a friend of mine painted it for us. I gave it to Eric as a wedding gift. In the expanse of the sky, the scripture below is written. It is also engraved in our wedding bands and has become our life verse.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, " declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55: 8-9
Jordan, Joelyn, and Kyle are experiencing LIFE...in all caps. They have won the victory. Praise the LORD!
I've been told a time or two, that I have the gift of writing. Last night I told Eric that I feel like there is so much I want to write, but maybe I should just do that for myself and not make it available for the whole world to see. I quickly (and gently) was rebuked. That's the whole point of this. Till all have heard! At his 16th birthday party this past spring, Jordan said to his Grandpa, "I'm going to change the world in one day!" WHOAH! He just felt it deep inside of him. A song was played during the slideshow at the funeral and I can't get the words out of my head:
I'm a warrior...I would die for you
The family told us that the twins, Kyle and Jordan woke up to that song each morning. I was telling Malakai about this. All day long yesterday, repeatedly, he would come up to me and say, "Mommy, I'm a warrior!" That's my boy!
A good friend of ours, watched our boys on Monday and gave us a devotional book. I was reading it before I went to bed after the funeral. The LORD spoke directly to my heart:
I am taking care of you. Feel the warmth and security of being enveloped in My loving Presence. Every detail of your life is under My control. Moreover, everything fits into a pattern for good, to those who love Me and are called according to My design and purpose.
Because the world is in an abnormal, fallen condition, people tend to think that chance governs the universe. Events may seem to occur randomly, with little or no meaning. People who view the world this way have overlooked one basic fact: the limitation of human understanding. What you know of the world you inhabit is only the tip of the iceberg. Submerged beneath the surface of the visible world are mysteries too vast for you to comprehend. If you could only see how close I am to you and how constantly I work on your behalf, you would never again doubt that I am wonderfully caring for you. This is why you must live by faith, not by sight; trusting in my mysterious, majestic Presence.
Job answered God: I'm convinced. You can do anything and everything; Nothing and no one can upset your plans. You asked, 'Who is this muddying the water, ignorantly confusing the issue, second-guessing my purposes?' I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me, made small talk about wonders way over my head. You told me, 'Listen and let me do the talking. Let me ask the questions. You give the answers.' I admit I once lived by rumors of you; now I have it all firsthand-from my own eyes and ears!" Job 42:1-5 (The Message)
If you have ever been to our house, you'll see a painting on the wall of Eric and I overlooking the Susquehanna River sitting on top of Chiques Rock. My parents snapped the picture and a friend of mine painted it for us. I gave it to Eric as a wedding gift. In the expanse of the sky, the scripture below is written. It is also engraved in our wedding bands and has become our life verse.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, " declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55: 8-9
Jordan, Joelyn, and Kyle are experiencing LIFE...in all caps. They have won the victory. Praise the LORD!
12.13.2011
Double The Fun
Our two boys both have December birthdays. Malakai will turn four on the 17th and Isaac will turn one on the 26th. This year we decided to do a joint birthday party. Tried to keep it small...and we ended up with 32 people and there were about 10 that couldn't make it :) The boys had a blast and loved hanging out with their friends and family. And Isaac loved his first taste of cake! I didn't take one single picture all night...Eric was busy snapping away. What an honor to have these two precious gifts of Malakai and Isaac in our lives. I am honored to call them mine, and blessed in knowing they ultimately belong to the One who gave them to us in the first place.
12.08.2011
Under His Wings
"For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be" Psalm 139: 13-16
I sit down in the green living room recliner. Open my Bible. Read from Psalms. Chapters 91 and 139. Rivers of tears begin to flow slowly. Then a flood. Look at my dusty journal. See last entry dated 6.6.11. Feel embarrassed that it's been that long. Over six months since my pen last touched these pages. Wow, I used to fill several pages a day. This might be messy. Lay it out, Regina. Raw. Unedited. Less than perfectly worded. He loves this. Desires this. Takes great joy in this. It's part of the healing. I need this.
The past 36 hours have been almost unreal. A family tragedy has occurred. Not in a far off untouchable way, but very close to home. About 3 minutes from home to be exact. My cousin, Marilyn and her husband Mark just lost three of their ten precious children. Car accident. Transported from earth to heaven. In an instant. No longer living and yet fully alive for the first time. Oh LORD, did you really need them this soon? The twins just got their license a few weeks ago. Joelyn still had more tapioca pudding to make and many more babies to hold and haul around on her hip. My boys loved her. The animals in the barn are hungry and miss hearing their voices. The grass will be two feet tall if Kyle and Jordan don't mow. Aching. Gaps. Holes.
And yet...there is a higher response. Yesterday morning, at 9:14am to be exact the phone rang. I tore down the steps thinking it was a family member, but my caller ID said, "Higher Response". I picked up, wondering who would be on the other end. No one. I hung up puzzled and yet sensing the LORD was speaking something to me. 9:14am...I felt the prompting. Look up Psalm 91:4...
"He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart."
More tears. Today, I am hiding under His wings. It's warm. It's safe. It's the only place. I may stay here for awhile...
I sit down in the green living room recliner. Open my Bible. Read from Psalms. Chapters 91 and 139. Rivers of tears begin to flow slowly. Then a flood. Look at my dusty journal. See last entry dated 6.6.11. Feel embarrassed that it's been that long. Over six months since my pen last touched these pages. Wow, I used to fill several pages a day. This might be messy. Lay it out, Regina. Raw. Unedited. Less than perfectly worded. He loves this. Desires this. Takes great joy in this. It's part of the healing. I need this.
The past 36 hours have been almost unreal. A family tragedy has occurred. Not in a far off untouchable way, but very close to home. About 3 minutes from home to be exact. My cousin, Marilyn and her husband Mark just lost three of their ten precious children. Car accident. Transported from earth to heaven. In an instant. No longer living and yet fully alive for the first time. Oh LORD, did you really need them this soon? The twins just got their license a few weeks ago. Joelyn still had more tapioca pudding to make and many more babies to hold and haul around on her hip. My boys loved her. The animals in the barn are hungry and miss hearing their voices. The grass will be two feet tall if Kyle and Jordan don't mow. Aching. Gaps. Holes.
And yet...there is a higher response. Yesterday morning, at 9:14am to be exact the phone rang. I tore down the steps thinking it was a family member, but my caller ID said, "Higher Response". I picked up, wondering who would be on the other end. No one. I hung up puzzled and yet sensing the LORD was speaking something to me. 9:14am...I felt the prompting. Look up Psalm 91:4...
"He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart."
More tears. Today, I am hiding under His wings. It's warm. It's safe. It's the only place. I may stay here for awhile...
12.03.2011
Overflowing
They are as different as their color of skin. Night and day. Apples and oranges. Black and white. Literally. As a photographer, it's important to have some loose expectations of how I want my photo sessions to go...until you work with your own kids. Time to check your expectations at the door and enjoy the ride.
Malakai has always loved (and I do mean LOVED) having photo sessions with me. He woke up on Friday morning asking, "Mommy, is it time to take pictures yet?" I had mentioned it the day before. This morning I looked at some of the images I captured yesterday of him, and literally starting weeping. His spirit just jumps out at me in every image. I don't have to coax him to smile with his eyes. It's all real. Here is one of my (30+) favorites. The rest will have to wait until I post them for his birthday coming up very soon...
And then there is Mr. I'm Not Interested In Doing Anything You Want Me To. I know from experience that 1-year portrait sessions are probably the hardest thing on earth. The almost walking, teething, goldfish-hungry, not-sure-what-to-do-with-myself stage is a blast to capture, right?! He's a good mixture of both Eric and I. And cute, but never on command :) Another favorite image with more to follow on his upcoming birthday.
So I celebrate my boys and ask the LORD for wisdom in knowing how to mother both of them. One needing different things than the other. Isn't that every mother's prayer? I am thankful for their similarities and their stark differences. I remember last year sending out our Christmas cards that said, "Wishing you joy unspeakable this Christmas and always". I was pregnant with Isaac and full of so much anticipation of all that was to come. This year, my heart is literally full to overflowing (tears to prove it) as I consider all that the LORD has given to Eric and I as we have prayed for children.
As I walk with women who are still believing for children who have yet to be conceived, or have lost children in the womb, or have a child and are believing for #2 or #3, I realize the gift of the four little feet that need socks, the two mouths that need wiped, the two hats and coats that need zippered, etc. I am thankful for the naps needed, the same books that we read 20 times a week, the swings that we push, the questions that need answered. The gift of children. The gift of life. Malakai and Isaac...my love knows no end for you.
Malakai has always loved (and I do mean LOVED) having photo sessions with me. He woke up on Friday morning asking, "Mommy, is it time to take pictures yet?" I had mentioned it the day before. This morning I looked at some of the images I captured yesterday of him, and literally starting weeping. His spirit just jumps out at me in every image. I don't have to coax him to smile with his eyes. It's all real. Here is one of my (30+) favorites. The rest will have to wait until I post them for his birthday coming up very soon...
And then there is Mr. I'm Not Interested In Doing Anything You Want Me To. I know from experience that 1-year portrait sessions are probably the hardest thing on earth. The almost walking, teething, goldfish-hungry, not-sure-what-to-do-with-myself stage is a blast to capture, right?! He's a good mixture of both Eric and I. And cute, but never on command :) Another favorite image with more to follow on his upcoming birthday.
So I celebrate my boys and ask the LORD for wisdom in knowing how to mother both of them. One needing different things than the other. Isn't that every mother's prayer? I am thankful for their similarities and their stark differences. I remember last year sending out our Christmas cards that said, "Wishing you joy unspeakable this Christmas and always". I was pregnant with Isaac and full of so much anticipation of all that was to come. This year, my heart is literally full to overflowing (tears to prove it) as I consider all that the LORD has given to Eric and I as we have prayed for children.
As I walk with women who are still believing for children who have yet to be conceived, or have lost children in the womb, or have a child and are believing for #2 or #3, I realize the gift of the four little feet that need socks, the two mouths that need wiped, the two hats and coats that need zippered, etc. I am thankful for the naps needed, the same books that we read 20 times a week, the swings that we push, the questions that need answered. The gift of children. The gift of life. Malakai and Isaac...my love knows no end for you.
12.01.2011
Good to the Last Drop
Malakai loves to lick the beaters. Yup, it's that time of year again. Mixing up Christmas cookies! And I think he's a handsome helper. I'm heading out soon to my "outdoor studio" to do my boys' yearly portraits. Lucky them...both in December. Oldest turning four and youngest turning one. I can't wait to see what I come up with. Beautiful day for it. And Grandma is coming to help out. Definite plus!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)