The Adoption Ending

It has been a roller coaster of emotions and events for our family the past three weeks. We heard on Monday morning that the birth mother was going into the hospital with strong contractions and were told to get our bags packed to head down to Virginia to meet our daughter on Wednesday. The birth mother wanted us to know that she was headed to the hospital and was asking when we would arrive. She wanted us there and we wanted so badly to be there. We were so overjoyed! So we began packing and getting our calendars cleared once again for a trip that we weren't sure how long would be.

On Tuesday afternoon we got another phone call. This one would change the course of our family's history yet again. The little girl was born at 2am on Tuesday morning, beautiful and healthy. When her birth mother saw her, she had a change of heart and decided she wanted to parent after all. That's all it takes. A single word. No. And we are left to pick up the pieces of our very broken hearts. She has the right to change her mind and we have no rights at all, but to pray for the best to come about of this situation. We firmly believed that this little girl was to be a part of our family. We named her together with her birth mother. We had prepared a place for her in our home. We had diapers, clothes, car seat, and pack-n-play ready to go, but they will remain empty. At least, for now. We are hurting very deeply, but we also are trusting God to heal us and show us His great mercy and love during this time.

Our emotions are very raw. Our caseworker is on vacation this week and when she returns, we will be meeting with her for further counsel. Our family profile will be available on the waiting list for other birth mothers to view. We had some close friends pray for us yesterday and they encouraged us that the battle belongs to the LORD. We fought for this baby and we release her to God's immeasurable grace knowing that the situation she will be raised in seems less than ideal to us.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways", declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

This has been our life verse since the first day of our marriage and it is engraved in our wedding bands. It has a whole new meaning now. Thank you for all of your prayers. We have felt them the entire way through this journey. I told the Virginia caseworker that we had a whole army behind us praying for this situation. We have not been defeated, but the victory looks a whole lot different than we were anticipating.