The funeral was on Monday. It was hardly just a typical one. An entire day long celebration of the lives of three incredible people: Jordan. Joelyn. Kyle. I've never experienced anything like it. We worshipped for hours with 2000+ people, in person and who knows how many were watching online. Laughing, crying, hands stretched towards heaven, embracing and processing together all that has happened and all that has yet to happen.
I've been told a time or two, that I have the gift of writing. Last night I told Eric that I feel like there is so much I want to write, but maybe I should just do that for myself and not make it available for the whole world to see. I quickly (and gently) was rebuked. That's the whole point of this. Till all have heard! At his 16th birthday party this past spring, Jordan said to his Grandpa, "I'm going to change the world in one day!" WHOAH! He just felt it deep inside of him. A song was played during the slideshow at the funeral and I can't get the words out of my head:
I'm a warrior...I would die for you
The family told us that the twins, Kyle and Jordan woke up to that song each morning. I was telling Malakai about this. All day long yesterday, repeatedly, he would come up to me and say, "Mommy, I'm a warrior!" That's my boy!
A good friend of ours, watched our boys on Monday and gave us a devotional book. I was reading it before I went to bed after the funeral. The LORD spoke directly to my heart:
I am taking care of you. Feel the warmth and security of being enveloped in My loving Presence. Every detail of your life is under My control. Moreover, everything fits into a pattern for good, to those who love Me and are called according to My design and purpose.
Because the world is in an abnormal, fallen condition, people tend to think that chance governs the universe. Events may seem to occur randomly, with little or no meaning. People who view the world this way have overlooked one basic fact: the limitation of human understanding. What you know of the world you inhabit is only the tip of the iceberg. Submerged beneath the surface of the visible world are mysteries too vast for you to comprehend. If you could only see how close I am to you and how constantly I work on your behalf, you would never again doubt that I am wonderfully caring for you. This is why you must live by faith, not by sight; trusting in my mysterious, majestic Presence.
Job answered God: I'm convinced. You can do anything and everything; Nothing and no one can upset your plans. You asked, 'Who is this muddying the water, ignorantly confusing the issue, second-guessing my purposes?' I admit it. I was the one. I babbled on about things far beyond me, made small talk about wonders way over my head. You told me, 'Listen and let me do the talking. Let me ask the questions. You give the answers.' I admit I once lived by rumors of you; now I have it all firsthand-from my own eyes and ears!" Job 42:1-5 (The Message)
If you have ever been to our house, you'll see a painting on the wall of Eric and I overlooking the Susquehanna River sitting on top of Chiques Rock. My parents snapped the picture and a friend of mine painted it for us. I gave it to Eric as a wedding gift. In the expanse of the sky, the scripture below is written. It is also engraved in our wedding bands and has become our life verse.
"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, " declares the LORD. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55: 8-9
Jordan, Joelyn, and Kyle are experiencing LIFE...in all caps. They have won the victory. Praise the LORD!
You do have a gift for writing. I will always remember the letter that you wrote to me after a field hockey season at LMH. You included Proverbs 31:30, which meant so much to me at that point in my life and I kept looking back on that verse all throughout college. So thanks for all of your beautiful writing and reflection, and of course your photographs.
ReplyDelete